The day I buried Emily, all I had left were our photos and memories. But that night, when something slipped from behind our engagement picture, my hands trembled. What I found made me question if I had truly known my wife at all.
The funeral home had tied a black ribbon to our front door. I stared at it, the key suspended in the lock, wondering who thought it was necessary.
As if the neighbors didnât already know Iâd spent the afternoon at the cemetery, watching them lower my wife into the ground while Rev. Matthews spoke of angels and eternal rest.
My hands were unsteady as I finally turned the key. The house smelled wrongâlike leather polish and sympathy casseroles.
Emilyâs sister, Jane, had âhelpedâ by cleaning while I was at the hospital in those final days. Now everything shone with an almost unnatural brightness, sharp enough to make my teeth ache.
âHome sweet home, right, Em?â I said, but caught myself. The silence that followed felt like a punch to the gut.
I loosened my tie, the one Emily had bought me last Christmas, and kicked off my shoes. They thudded softly against the wall.
Emily would have scolded me for that, her lips pressed together as she tried to stop herself from smiling while she lectured me about scuff marks.
âSorry, honey,â I muttered, leaving the shoes where they landed.
Our bedroom felt worse than the rest of the house. Jane had changed the sheetsâlikely trying to helpâbut the fresh linen smell only emphasized that Emilyâs scent was gone.
The bed was perfectly made with hospital corners, every crease erased, wiping away the casual mess that had been our life.
âThis isnât real,â I whispered to the empty room. âThis canât be real.â
But it was. The sympathy cards on the dresser proved it. As did the pills on the nightstand that hadnât been enough to save her.
It had all happened so fast. Emily got sick last year, but she fought it. The chemotherapy took everything from her, but she made it through. We thought we had won. Then came the check-up. The cancer had come back, and it had spread everywhere.
Em fought like a lion, right until the very end. But now, I could see it was a battle she couldnât win.
I collapsed onto her side of the bed, not bothering to change out of my funeral clothes. The mattress didnât hold her shape anymore. Had Jane flipped it? The thought made me irrationally angry.
âFifteen years,â I whispered into Emilyâs pillow. âFifteen years, and this is how it ends? A ribbon on the door and casseroles in the fridge?â
My eyes landed on our engagement photo, the silver frame catching the late afternoon light. Emily looked so alive in it, her yellow sundress bright against the summer sky, her laugh captured mid-spin as I twirled her around.
I grabbed the photo, needing to be closer to that momentâthe joy we had both shared.
âRemember that day, Em? You said the camera would capture our souls. You hated having your picture taken becauseââ
My fingers caught on something behind the frame.
There was a bump under the backing, something that shouldnât have been there.
I traced it again, frowning. Without thinking, I pried the backing loose. Something slipped out, drifting to the floor like a leaf.
My heart stopped.
It was another photo, old and slightly curved, as though it had been handled often before being hidden away.
In the picture, EmilyâGod, she looked so youngâsat in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn wrapped in a pink blanket.
Her face was different than Iâd ever seen it: tired, scared, but filled with a fierce love that took my breath away.
I couldnât understand what I was seeing. Emily and I had tried to have kids, but we never could. So whose baby was this?
I flipped the photo over. Emilyâs handwritingâshaky, more fragile than Iâd ever seenâread: âMama will always love you.â
Beneath that, a phone number.
âWhat?â My voice cracked, barely above a whisper. âEmily, what is this?â
There was only one way to find out.
The phone felt heavy in my hand as I dialed, not caring that it was nearly midnight. The rings echoed in my head like tolling bells.
âHello?â A womanâs voice answered, warm but cautious.
âIâm sorry to call so late,â I said, my voice unrecognizable to me. âMy name is James. I⊠I just found a photograph of my wife Emily with a baby, and this numberâŠâ
The silence stretched so long I thought she might have hung up.
âOh,â she said, so softly I almost missed it. âOh, James. Iâve been waiting for this call for years. Itâs been a long time since Emily reached out.â
âEmily died,â I said, the words tasting like ash. âThe funeral was today.â
âIâm so sorry,â she replied, her voice cracking with real sorrow. âIâm Sarah. I⊠I adopted Emilyâs daughter, Lily.â
The room spun. I gripped the edge of the bed. âDaughter?â
âShe was nineteen,â Sarah explained, her voice gentle. âA freshman in college. She knew she couldnât give the baby the life she deserved. It was the hardest decision she ever made.â
âWe tried for years to have children,â I said, anger suddenly flaring through my grief. âYears of treatments, specialists, disappointments. She never said a word about having a baby before me. Never.â
âShe was terrified,â Sarah said softly. âTerrified youâd judge her, terrified youâd leave. She loved you so much, James. Sometimes love makes us do impossible things.â
I closed my eyes, remembering the way Emily would grip my hand too tightly during fertility treatments, how sheâd avert her gaze whenever we passed playgrounds.
Iâd always thought it was because we both desperately wanted a child. Now I wondered how much of that was tied to the daughter she had given up.
âTell me about her,â I heard myself say. âTell me about Lily.â
Sarahâs voice brightened. âSheâs twenty-five now. A kindergarten teacher, if you can believe it. She has Emilyâs laugh, her way with people. She always knew she was adopted, and she knows about Emily. Would you⊠would you like to meet her?â
âOf course!â I replied.
The next morning, I sat in a corner booth at a café, too nervous to touch my coffee. The bell above the door chimed, and I looked up.
It was like being punched in the chest.
She had Emilyâs eyes. Her smile. Even the way she tucked her hair behind her ear as she scanned the room. When our gazes met, we both knew.
âJames?â Her voice trembled.
I stood, nearly knocking over my chair. âLily.â
She rushed forward, wrapping her arms around me as though she had been waiting her whole life to do it. I held her close, inhaling the scent of lavender shampooâjust like Emilyâs.
âI canât believe youâre here,â she whispered against my shoulder. âWhen Mom called this morning⊠Iâve always wondered about you, about what kind of man my mother married.â
We spent hours talking. She showed me pictures of her college graduation, her first classroom, and her cat. I told her stories about Emily, our life together, and the woman her mother had become.
âShe used to send me birthday cards every year,â Lily said, wiping a tear. âWe never spoke, but Mom would call to ask how I was doing.â
Looking at this beautiful, brilliant young woman, I began to see Emilyâs secret in a new light.
It wasnât just fear or shame that kept her silent. She had been protecting Lily, ensuring she had a safe, stable life with Sarah. It must have torn Emily apart to keep this secret, but she did it out of love.
âI wish I had known sooner,â I said, reaching for Lilyâs hand. âBut I understand why she didnât tell me. Iâm so sorry you didnât get to know her, but I want you to know, Iâll always be here for you, okay?â
Lily squeezed my hand. âDo you think⊠could we maybe do this again? Get to know each other better?â
âIâd like that,â I said, feeling something warm stir in my chest for the first time since Emilyâs death. âIâd like that very much.â
That night, I placed the hidden photo next to our engagement picture on the nightstand.
Emily smiled at me from both framesâyoung and old, before and afterâher love always shining through.
âYou did good, Em,â I whispered. âYou did real good. And I promise, Iâll do right by her. By both of you.â